Connection in the Parent-Child Relationship
“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
-Brene Brown
Believe me when I say, I get it. The calendar is full of practices, games, lessons, and appointments and at the end of the day, it can feel like there’s barely enough time for yourself, let alone for deep moments with your children. On the busiest weeks, we slip into “survival mode,” making sure our children are fed, clothed, and where they need to be. Sometimes, it can feel like the real connection, the heart-to-heart stuff, gets missed.
The truth is, connection is one of the most important parts of parenting. It’s through connection that our kids feel safe, learn how to handle tough emotions, build resilience, and discover how to thrive. These everyday moments with us, whether it’s a bedtime chat, a shared laugh in the car, or simply listening when they’ve had a rough day, are what teach them how to regulate their feelings, solve problems, and grow into people who know how to build strong, healthy relationships of their own.
Like most things in parenting, there’s no handbook that tells us the “ideal amount of time” we should spend connecting with our kids or exactly what it needs to look like each day. What if I told you it’s not really about the amount of time at all? Instead, it’s about the small, meaningful moments between parent and child that nurture love, trust, and security.
With that in mind, here are some simple tips and reminders for those of us who tend to be hard on ourselves while trying to balance the many demands of parenting and everyday life.
1. Be Present and Show Up
Bring your whole self—your attention and awareness—into the moment as you interact with your child. Set aside distractions from the modern world: turn down the music, let the phone call go to voicemail, and allow space for a natural connection to unfold.
2. Repair
We as parents are not perfect. Just like our children, we have hard days that can ripple into the parent-child relationship. When this happens, take responsibility for your actions, apologize, and provide space for your child to process. Repair builds trust and shows that relationships can recover from conflict.
3. Join Them in Their Emotional Experience
As parents, we often slip into “problem-solving mode,” wanting to fix things when our children are hurting. Sometimes, though, they don’t need solutions—they need us to simply be there. By validating and normalizing their emotions, we let them know their feelings are real and accepted. From that place, we can provide comfort as needed.
As every parent knows, time moves far too quickly. Often, it’s in the small, everyday moments that the most meaningful connection can be made. So remember to be yourself, be present, and most of all—have fun!
